The truth is that most of us are scared of death. And because it scares us, we avoid discussing it, let alone thinking seriously about this. It begins to worry us when someone close dies or is about to die or when we receive a terminal diagnosis.
Our nation which still keeps its traditions knows how to look at death and the deceased, while in the west the families of the deceased most often do not see the body of their loved one at all, thus they rarely come to face with the imminence of death and its expressions. Gradually this trend approaches us as well, by aligning our country with the Western laws. This is not exactly a good thing, because vigil has an especially important role since ancient times.
Death is what makes us see life in a different light
Although we avoid this subject or the confrontation with it, it is death that makes us see life in a different light. How would we evaluate our lives if we knew it would never end? Or how would we be guided in our own development if we knew we had eternity at our disposal? We do not have all the time in the world at our disposal and thus we begin to assign value to certain things and actions, while we consider others invaluable or useless, because we, as human beings, have the ability to conceptualize, to reason, to analyze our lives, to regret, to repent, and to radically change our lives if we truly want to. A dog does not have this ability, neither does the cow nor the marmot, so these are specifically human qualities that we are truly blessed with. Because of these traits we not only build our lives on a stronger basis, but we also think about what follows death, both for us and for those we leave behind. The effort of the parent to gather what is necessary to provide the child with everything he/she needs after the parent dies is part of this, and also the desire of not being forgotten has its roots here, wanting to leave something to the next generations. Of course, we are not all a Ștefan cel Mare or an Ecaterina Teodoroiu to be mentioned in history books, and no Eminescu whose poems survived many generations, but we are all looking for that meaning in life expressed perhaps only by the foundation to a large family so that the family may last, if we do not raise a column of infinity to be seen from afar even after hundreds of years.
Death gives real meaning and intensity to life
The idea is that death gives real meaning and intensity to life and not the hearts on Instagram or the latest Iphone, because death is what from the shadows determines us to choose what to care or not to care about, to decide what the values that guide us in life are and what is the meaning we choose to give our existence so as not to have regrets at the end of our lives.
Top of regrets
You know how tops are in vogue now, well there is a very special book with the top 5 regrets of the dying, written by Bronnie Ware who worked at a palliative care clinic and she spoke to and was with many dying people. Let me tell you what is in this top:
- I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
- I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
- I wish I had let myself be happier.
- I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
- Only love matters.
This is why I invite you now to look inside yourself to see if you have regrets and then to take the necessary measures to eliminate these.
Don't fight against the fear of death
The fight itself with the fear of death is a lost battle because you know neither the moment nor the circumstances in which it will occur and the more you fear it, the more you feed it. But we also have the option to rise above it and integrate it with maximum use in life. Finally, let us remember that we come from the Dacians: You know that they had this philosophy of life to rise above death and they fought with unparalleled courage. Even if this attitude and philosophy are no longer cultivated in our country, we certainly still have it in our DNA. 😊
What can you do when you face the fear of death?
Here are several options when facing the fear of death:
- consulting a coach
- seeing a therapist specialized in cognitive-behavioral therapy
- doing relaxation techniques
- meditate.
but especially to fill every corner of our lives with meaning and value, to make a difference, because as Mircea Eliade said:
"He who dies before he dies will not die when he dies."
If you need help overcoming your fear of death, contact me for a coaching session.
I wish you good luck and I am looking forward to meeting you!
